Our Joy Comes in the Morning

Last year was bad. Very bad. Mainly, because we lost my dear, sweet, dad unexpectedly, and it was a major blow. The grief was more overwhelming than anything I'd ever experienced, and the trauma to our whole family is something I hope we never have to relive. Thankfully, by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are on a path to healing and recovery. Needless to say, it has impacted me in every area of life...including our homeschooling.

See, I've come to learn that when you lose someone very special, it completely alters the way you see life. It changes you forever. For me, it made me realize for the first time, how very short life really is. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself saying goodbye to a parent at 32 years old. But I did. And this is what I've learned...

The stuff we sweat over... it's dumb. Seriously. In referring to 'school', this really hit me hard. I didn't even realize how much I'd fallen into 'doing' school!! It was like our year had become one big check off list, and the more things I could cross off, "yep, studied rocks and missions for 4th grade...check. Mastered cursive and long division...check. Made sure everyone spent 20 minutes in silent reading...check," the more I could define my success. Really?! Had I actually begun to make their schooling about me?? Yep, I had. Because I was worrying about the dumb stuff. Not that those things in and of themselves are dumb (ok, maybe cursive isn't exactly the most valuable skill these days, but who am I to change the whole educational system... ;), but the value I was placing on them was. And my whole attitude behind it was worse. Somewhere along the way, I had truly lost my vision for our homeschool.

Needless to say, I've made big changes this year. The biggest, I think, has been my attitude toward their learning, and incorporating my new favorite word, "VALUE", into everything we do. For instance, last year, even if my kids were quietly playing with legos together in their room, I would have stopped them in order to go and 'do school' (i know..what an idiot!). This year, I passionately recognize the value in their building, creating, and, most importantly, working together. I recognize the value in having 'game days', where, other than maybe, finishing a math lesson, the rest of our 'school' is simply playing board games together! I recognize the value in having days that are nothing but reading books...everyone gathered in my bed with 5, sometimes 6 books, and just reading and reading (until they are driving me completely nuts from arguing over whose turn it is to lay by me, while they climb over my body as if I'm a human jungle gym. I'm not a saint.). Yes, we still 'do school', but, I'm no longer letting it take precedence over the wonderful things I'd been setting aside, because I wasn't acknowledging their value. (have I said the word 'value' enough? value, value, value, value. ok, there. good :)

The other thing that really hit me this year, and it's along these same lines, is this idea of a 'well rounded' education. Yes, that's what we're all striving for, (mostly because it's what we were taught was valuable, i think), but at what cost? My girlfriend was reading this very interesting book on education, and she made a point that completely resonated with me. She said, that the major difference between China and the US, educationally speaking, is  in the way our systems approach talents and deficits. Here, we take a child's area of weakness, and put all of our energy into improving 'scores', while neglecting the areas of excellence because they are already sufficient. In China, however, they do the opposite...their system allows the weaker areas to maintain at a sufficient level, while zoning in on the natural gifts of that child, working to take them from gifted, to excellence. Now, doesn't that make a whole lot more sense?!! So obvious, so brilliant....and so what I want for my kids. So, next step...out with the busy work, in with only the curriculum that provides great application, life skills, and/or eternal perspective. Yes, we still do spelling and writing, but my 10 year old future engineer/scientist is never going to pen children's books, so why torture him with hours of poetry and creative writing, when he begs to watch the science channel and construct 1000 piece lego sets? Do we really need to study 'how a policeman helps our community', when my 7 year old animal lover is already taming ferrell cats and desperately wants to read books about baby animals while watching Blue Planet? Nope, not gonna do it. I'm choosing to school like the chinese..minus the whole communist thing, of course. 

Yep, grief can do a lot of things to a momma. It's not fun and I pray it stays away for a long while before visiting again, but there has been some good come from this whole mess. I am thankful that my vision for our homeschool was restored, even after taking a slight detour. I know what it means to hold on to your treasures, and enjoy each blessing while you have them. I realize that, above all, I want my kids to know Jesus Christ, and to love Him more passionately than anything this world can offer. And, I know that we get very easily distracted with the dumb stuff. Thanks, Dad.  :)